Emotion is a state of mind, we can always change it no matter what circumstances we are in. Once read this statement somewhere, I like it very much and set it for one of my daily reminder. For what I am experiencing recently, I like to alter it into, being happy is a state of mind, and we can always change it no matter what circumstances we are in, too.

As I told my friend recently, digging on to the past will not help to improve our current relationship with others, especially if we are going to dig on those happening that make us feel bad. The past will only serve us if we take it as a lesson and reminder to not repeat the same mistake we had made.

The past is past, we can never go back and re-run any incident that happen in the past, it is useless to keep clinging on to the past, as it will block us from moving forward. One might done something wrong last month, since then he decided to make some changes so to improve his relationship with others and minimize the hurt, and he really did it. By now if we are to keep going back to the past and tossing on that particular incident, while we are doing that, all the emotions are return, it will then blind us to see the improvement and the effort he is putting in, and judge him based on the past incident that is not existent for now, which will then ruin the relationship that had been established since then. Even worse, when we are eating out by our own emotion, the first one being hurt and feeling unhappy, is ourselves, while others are moving forward and not knowing the cause of our unhappiness, at all.

There was a story of an old monk and a young monk who were walking through a forest when they came to a river bank and saw a beautiful young woman standing at the edge of the bank.

The woman was afraid to cross the river and so she asked if one of the monks might help her across.

It so happened that these two monks had both taken vows never to touch a member of the opposite sex. But the old monk, sensing the extreme anxiety of the young woman, lifted her onto his back and carried her to the other side of the river.

The young woman thanked him and went on her way. The two monks continued on their journey, but the young monk was shocked and disturbed at having seen his older companion break his vow so nonchalantly. Finally, after three hours of walking and thinking, he could contain himself no longer and he burst out, “Tell me, old man, what did it feel like to break your vow of so many years? What did it feel like to allow sensuality to tempt you from your spiritual path? What did it feel like to have her smooth warm thighs wrapped around your waist, her breasts brushing against your back, her arms around your neck and her soft cheek almost one with your own? Tell me, old man, what is it like to carry such a beautiful young woman?”

The older monk remained silent for several steps and then said, “It is you who should tell me what it is like to carry such a beautiful young woman. You see I put her down three hours ago at the river, but you are still carrying her.”
– http://www.trivia-library.com

To feel the happiness, is to keeping the faith and hope for the future, to appreciating the past and living at the present moment.

You will not be able to move forward if you keep clinging on the past. Abraham Lincoln once commented that, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Our happiness depends on us, not others. We can’t blame others for ours unhappiness, as we are the one who is in charge of what we think and how we react on everything surrounding us.