Samantha came to me last week ….. just need to talk, she said …..

You know, when one does not sure about what is the priority in his life, one does not really understand what respect is, don’t you think it’s very unfair to point his finger to the other party?

I will never forget, when I was in my second pregnancy, I called him to buy me a supper (without food, I’ll vomit like hell) at 11pm, but he’s only turn up at almost 2am (because he needs to send his friend home)! and when I asked was it because he wants to send her home and that’s why he’s late, he then throw all the food on the floor, and run away from home for three days without news.

Later when he came home he asked for a divorce and wanted me to do an abortion even though I’m already in the 4th month of my pregnancy, when I refuse, he said I never concern about his feeling, ridiculous ha? He is asking me to kill a little life, and this little life is in my womb, and he said I never concern about his feeling.

Sometimes, when he is actually partying with friends, but he told me he is at work; even, he sent me text message to check with me whether our kids are staying overnight in baby sitter’s house, not because he’s concerning, but just to make sure he can go for movie or something with his so call “good friend” until late night …. come recently, he make up a plan to have a romantic drive around the island tour in the north part with a girl, without telling the girl his marital status, and he’s actually ‘talented’ in sweet talking her….

These type of incidents happen again and again …. not to mention about the porn site on the Internet, and maybe prostitution (he did admitted it to me, he went for once, but did not success… after that incident, did he still going or doing, I’ve totally no idea, and I wish I’ll never know…).

He is always having one or two girl friends, or according to him, his “good friend” out there.

Samantha’s sobbing while telling me her story, she is hurt, badly, she is even thinking if she is one of his “good friend”, but not his wife, will she feeling better with less torment. I was speechless and drought to find any words to appease her at this point. She just needs to unleash her emotion somewhere, and she knew, she knew what’s the next thing to do to save herself from this dilemma.

She continues …

Beside throwing out my temper, I don’t know what I can do and how to face him everyday when he comes home ….. but now, I learned to keep my temper… and keep quite….

When one does not have the faith in a relationship, when one does not know how to respect and care about other’s feeling, anything can easily destroy a married.

Samantha even told me: You know how was he commanded about me when I told him someone is actually complementing me? he said : “you go and tell that fellow, for 15 minutes more per day, just 15 minutes, ask him stay together with you, see if he’ll still say the kind of compliment to you or not.” can you feel what I felt?

Yes Samantha, I told her, I totally understand how you feel. How can one be so irresponsible and mindless on his own words?

For him, maybe the excitement towards Samantha already dimmed; but for Samantha, she was so hurt until she lost her trust and respect on him….

For so many years, he never hold me when I’m crying, he’ll always shows me his disgusting look (scar being scratches again and again…..). I’ll never cry in front of him anymore, I told myself. Samantha lifted up her face with a decision in mind.

But I do cry, while I’m alone, while I’m driving… just to release my emotions …..